* This is just for fun, please note driveJohnson’s as a company and the driveJohnson’s instructors do not condone some of these naughty behaviours, we just see/hear of them regularly happening.
Whether you’re a newbie on the roads or consider yourself a driving expert, there are a certain set of unspoken rules that most drivers follow. Here are our top 20 unwritten rules of the road:
- Unnecessary trips to the shops for items such a bar of chocolate at 1am.
- Spend 15 minutes choosing a playlist for a 5 minute drive.
- You are now a taxi service for all of your friends that haven’t passed their tests.
- Amber traffic light now means you can make it!
- Avoid parallel park for the first year.
How to parallel park:
Step 1) Park somewhere else ? - You must repay every lift anyone has ever given you. You might as well stick a taxi sign on the roof and start charging. ?
- Always tell your mates you passed in 10 hours and you was so good the examiner finished the test early
Driving test? Completed it mate, 10 hours - Spend at least 24 hours searching insurance companies that doesn’t require a black
box and then at the end of it go for black box insurance - Park as far away as possible from any other cars
- Suddenly take an interest in the car accessories in your local supermarket/Halfords.
Another car air freshener? Oh go on then
- Buy an air freshener that dangles in your face and distracts you.
But at least your car smells nice, right?
- Calling your dad when the slightest thing goes wrong with your car.
Car making a weird noise? Turn the music up louder.
- You must ALWAYS make awkward eye contact with the person next to you at traffic lights.
- Fill her up on pay day and the rest of the month top her up £10 a time.
- Turning to look at the person you’ve been stuck behind for the last 10 mins doing 30 in a 60 zone.
- Happy use of horn now means = Oi, Oi – What you saying?
- Angry use of horn now means = move out of my way or GO!
- Getting annoyed at other cars being on the road when you’re running late.
- Load your car up with your mates and hit Mcdonald’s 99p saver menu.
- Ping your alloy within the first week.
TOP TIPS from one of our best driving instructors in Stevenage Ossie Osman
- Steady Amber at a traffic light means stop if you can do so safely.
- Only use the horn to make other road users aware of your presence.
- If an air freshener is obstructing your view, consider placing it in a different position or buy one that doesn’t distract you from the road.
- If you car is making weird noises or showing a warning light, do not ignore, consult a professional mechanic.
- Try and stay calm even if other road users are frustrating you. Breath in through the nose and out through the mouth.
